Holiday Store Gophers

I have decided to come up with a new game. One that won’t result in much for prizes or redeemable tickets that you trade in for the toys we are too ignorant to understand cost about as much as the mold on the back of your toilet if you were to sell it to science, or to Sam. Anyway, this game’s only reward will probably be of self satisfaction and perhaps a little bit of a cardiac work out. It will indeed result in angry parents, astonished customers and probably a beating by the local authorities. You know the game we all played at the fair where you bop the gophers on the head. Yeah, that game…but this time the gophers are obnoxious, annoying, loud, out of control kids at the department store. You see here in the military overseas you only one and if you are lucky two stores to do any sort of shopping in. Yet these mongrels destroy every trip you ever make. So I think we should be allowed a nerf bat to carry around the store with us and when one of these mongrels get out of line we get to bop them over and over and as often as we want until there is no resistance. I mean the other day I went into the store to buy some plastic containers and Christmas wrapping paper. I was attacked by our little friend “anxiety” because the place was over run by rambunctious, screaming, lack of disciplined kids. I didn’t even make it to the right isle before turning around and walking…no running out of the store. So tomorrow I am going in with a nerf bat and the first little hellion that wants to use my leg as urinal or punching bag is going to hand over 15 tickets or 7 tokens….because I am going for the high score!

Disclaimer – I do love kids just not all of them!