Murses
What is it about the “Fockers” of this world that seem to ruin it for the rest of us? Dr. Pegg’s portrayl of us as mean nasty bastards that live only to torture our patients was quite hurtful. I mean it is true, there isn’t much else to do at 0300 then wait for you pathetic whiners to fall asleep then rush in with a O2 monitor and of course a BP cuff. The pain scale…why can’t you get it right? You are sitting there on the phone laughing, and when I ask, “What is your pain on a scale of 1-10?” I get a chuckle and an “8”. I know you just want the high, but don’t you realize that it was morphine they gave the guy in Saving Private Ryan just before he died? Think about that next time you want pain meds! Yes I am a male nurse but think how hard this is for me. I once dated a doctor for some time. Ah, I know what you are thinking…and no…SHE was a FEMALE DOCTOR. But I had to specify that every time because just dating a ‘doctor’ lead you down the paths of homoerotic ness. But yes, a male nurse can date a female doctor and it be ok! Pegg, I wish I was your nurse for your brief stay because I would have doped you up, sponge bathed you, and then shut the lights off, taken your call bell from you and simply prayed that you be awake in the morning. At this point you would still only get the one slice of bacon, one scoop of runny scrambled eggs, and if you are lucky a pancake filled with more air than batter. Enjoy it…because you are in my world sunshine and as you witnessed, we can make your life hell! All that aside, I am thankful that you are aight Doc, because I would have hated to see the EMTs scrapping Sam’s dung off your back!
posted by Hahn House at Wednesday, November 16, 2005
3 Comments:
Now hold on! I never got the pain scale, just asked if I was in pain. No I wasn't, I'm just tired. You'd be tired to if you had to get up every half hour to piss and shit. No pain meds, thanks. Don't need them. Why would being a male nurse make any difference? I think I would have preferred a male nurse. And I didn't think male doctor when you said you dated one. Had to be a feeemale, since from what I know of you (well, you are from Montana) you ain't no girly man's man. And, the only time I used that frigin' call bell was when the IV kept beeping (just one more thing to wake me up!). And I would have given anything for a slice of bacon, runny eggs and a pancake. I am the kind of patient you should like. I don't ring the dang bell, I get myself to and from the john, I don't want meds. I just want to be LEFT ALONE! But, seriously, what you guys do and the crap you put up with (and clean up) is just barely short of sainthood, maybe not even short of. Everyone that came in my room was polite, friendly and concerned. I was thankful for the care, I just needed rest. And thanks for making me feel guilty for complaining.
you know i love you Doc! I was just playing with you!
I know. But I am sure too, that you do have that occasional patient that just knows how to jerk your chain and it takes ever bit of professionalism you have (and I KNOW you are a professional) to do your job. I know, cause I get them too, and I do my best to stay on a level higher than theirs. Don't always want to, but I do.
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